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Me the Merciless
Jan. 21st, 2009 01:04 pmThere's something about going out into the winter sunshine and trimming back a grape arbor that makes the inner megalomaniac come out.
What other plant calls for such merciless and violent cutting back each and every year? Behold, the long brown leafless tendrils and vines, how they fall before my mighty clippers! Behold the truncated, lifeless heaps that tangle across the mossy loam! How I trod upon them! The withered remains of forgotten fruit hanging shrivelled into unrecognizable raisiny blobs, all swept away in a final judgment. They are yanked from the apple tree, the fence, the greenhouse roof where their feeble plant-fingers have fled, grasping for sanctuary in vain. There is no hiding from the Trimming of the Grapes! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
whack whack!
Folks who don't garden often mistakenly regard it as a gentle occupation. Little to they know! Just wait until the Slugbait Fairy of Death begins her reign once again...
What other plant calls for such merciless and violent cutting back each and every year? Behold, the long brown leafless tendrils and vines, how they fall before my mighty clippers! Behold the truncated, lifeless heaps that tangle across the mossy loam! How I trod upon them! The withered remains of forgotten fruit hanging shrivelled into unrecognizable raisiny blobs, all swept away in a final judgment. They are yanked from the apple tree, the fence, the greenhouse roof where their feeble plant-fingers have fled, grasping for sanctuary in vain. There is no hiding from the Trimming of the Grapes! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
whack whack!
Folks who don't garden often mistakenly regard it as a gentle occupation. Little to they know! Just wait until the Slugbait Fairy of Death begins her reign once again...
