Grargh

Only a little over 2 months until my son graduates from high school. Maybe. I can't even express how frustrating and stressful it has been having to drag him inch by inch towards the finish line over the past years, and I still don't know for sure he'll make it in time.

Left him to work on a big paper on the Cold War he has that is now overdue and when I return he's on facebook. I get him off the computer so I can do my own work and he gravitates to his video games. If computer or video game is unavailable, then he takes naps and hangs around reading Tom Clancy novels. I want to pull out my hair, and then his hair but at this point I have to take an observational backseat (and grumble here, apparently, lol...) lest I not let him fall on his face if it is really what he needs to do to wake up.

We had to make a deal with him that we weren't going to do any more behavioral modification (i.e. punishments, rewards, hollering, guilting, etc.) as he is of age and it's his life (and it was making a very unhappy household) but it's so hard to watch him scraping along knowing he will seriously regret it later if he flubs this.

So close. Maybe so far away. Maybe snatching the golden ring. Maybe missing the last banana. Maybe a moment of relief. Maybe we just wasted money on senior pictures.

&*%#@! I hate parenting sometimes.