In which I am apparently Boring

[primsong]

I was grocery shopping and ran into a lady we used to go to church with/visit/etc. about ten years back but haven't seen much since - don't you hate it when you get that "So, what are you up to? What do you do?" question?

At least I do. I am abruptly and painfully aware of my lack of Social Occupation Status.

I am currently in the unusual situation (for this day and age) of being what might be termed a 'housewife'... This means I run around trying to keep up with caring for our property and taking care of my family, force my kids to do their homework, do the paperwork, sell random stuff online on the side, write stories the Typical Person I Know can't relate to, sing, volunteer in assorted places that don't pay me and keep up my reduced library duties at our church/preschool. All of which notably do not generate titles or money.

She tells me perkily about how she goes into jails as a chaplain and plays the piano for a local Iranian church while also working. You know - like REALLY working... I mean, the kind someone gives you money for and that you can't beg off from if you're having a bad day.

I say "Er...I, um... I write...(mumble)..."

"Are you still working in that library?"

"Uh, well, yes, though it's smaller now...I take care of my yard..."

"Oh - do you put up any produce from it?"

(relieved) "Yes! Yes I do, I just did applesauce and jam. And we have a ton of grape juice steamed out for the freezer." She nods approvingly. (whew! saved by my fruit! I am a Productive Human Being after all!! Proof I do not just sit around doodling drabbles and picking lint off of socks!)

On the up side, she REALLY wanted some of my grape juice and will be coming by to fetch some from my overfull supply, and she is a nice person, so aside from all that it was a good chance meeting, and I'm less awkward when I can *show* them something instead of trying to describe it.

Comments

[shirebound]

I wish I could get some of that grape juice! Yummy. You sound incredibly active and productive to me.

[primsong.livejournal.com]

It's always a weird push-pull thing - I am actually very content with what I do and accomplish, but then there's the inability to communicate it in terms of social brownie-points that adds that "Help! I have nothing to contribute to this conversation!" fumbling to things. Thank you - you're quite the busy lady yourself!

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, you don't sound in the least bit boring here. I'm always amazed by how much you seem to do, cos it's not like being a housewife is actually an easy, quite and non-time-consuming role!!

And we appreciate your stories very much. :-D

(Oh, and you even sell books, too, now, as well.)

You know, your account reminds me of Adrian Plass and Christian newsletters you want to shred: "JUst another year here. Graham has converted the whole of Lapland, but other than that nothing much happened..." (That was a completely invented paraphrase, but it goes something along those lines!) :lol:

[primsong.livejournal.com]

Yes! Exactly. Adrian Plass is one of my heroes, someone who always tells it like it *really* is instead of how it's "supposed" to be.

I seem to have double-vision in the realm of 'social self-esteem', as I like where I am but can't figure out what to call it that doesn't conjure up images of sloth, so I'm left acting a bit like a fish abruptly pulled up out of the water into the Working World *gasp! flop! gape! bubble!*

I guess it's only fair. I am occasionally tempted do this to others by saying something like "Well, I record audio books, write fanfic, study Cicero and bellydance." heh.

[thisbluespirit]

I guess it's only fair. I am occasionally tempted do this to others by saying something like "Well, I record audio books, write fanfic, study Cicero and bellydance."

Heh. That is impressive. Although in some circles, it would only garner very strange looks!! :lol:

[curuchamion.livejournal.com]

'I am occasionally tempted do this to others by saying something like "Well, I record audio books, write fanfic, study Cicero and bellydance."'

*doesn't really see why not* :D Those are all worthwhile and interesting things to do!

(Well, okay... when it's me, I generally go with "I'm applying to college." Which invariably produces "oh yay you are finally doing something with your life!" squee. But it would be so much more fun to say "Well - Illya might have a sprained ankle, I just got recced on Calufrax, my remix is back from the beta, my college application essay may be getting somewhere and I really need to do another DW_straybunnies post!" *slightly evil grin*)

[siradaono.livejournal.com]

really Amy, really,
i am misunderstanding this or are you really concerned about this?

your life is meaningful, productive, and blessed by God.

what and why are you second guessing....i am ....saddened that such a thought even crosses your heart about your reality.

you are a hero and role modle, an incredible human, a good soul, and one of the only people i know that is a go to friend for hundreds of friends...

you are adored and loved...what else is this life if not that?


you are loved.

[primsong.livejournal.com]

Dear me! No, no (((T))) - it wasn't meant to be a call for esteem-fluffing as much as just a musing on my own mixed reactions and tendency to fumble about for what pigeon-hole to stuff myself into when someone wants something succinct. I am incredibly blessed, I have no idea why - goodness knows I don't deserve it, but that's really what Love is all about, isn't it? And I remain amazed at the sheer numbers of wonderful people there are in this world, everyone has something to offer - the best ones realize it and share it (such as yourself!)

Thank you for the lovely posting, tho' - I hope you can hold it up and realize you are just as described in it as I.

housewife blues

[chytha.livejournal.com]

my mom was a "housewife" for most of her married life...and accomplished much in raising 5 well adjusted kids through all the chores, school, church, neighborhood doings,etc. She also canned fruit, volunteered at church and school libraries, sang in choir. Her legacy was living out the character of Christ and having kids who also contributed in a positive way to our society. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife and mother....sometimes I wonder how my parents managed it with all five of us (sanity and financial-wise). I am very grateful for her and I'm sure that your kids are very grateful (or will be) for you. Keep up the good work and don't let anyone put you down for it. My favorite mantra when I was doing once-a-month church services in nursing homes was "every thing you can do, even if it is only smiling and saying hello to someone, is treasured by God ...life is made up of so-called small things".

[estellye.livejournal.com]

When I think of people I know who accomplish a great deal, you're way up there on that list. You've never come near to the boring list...which I don't actually have, but if I had one you wouldn't be on it. Who cares what it sounds like you do, it only matters what you actually do. Next time someone asks what you do, tell them you are responsible for at least a half dozen human sized miracles every day.

[primsong.livejournal.com]

I think if she hadn't been one of those people who come equipped with a penetrating gaze and no-nonsense approach to life it would have been less discombobulating - and thank you, I love that 'comeback' line. :-)

[tangelian.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, I *really* recognise the syndrome--my sympathies! Imagine people's reaction when I reveal that I'm part time cemetery worker, and part time writer...

Actually, my major problem is my mum, who's constantly disappointed with what I've become, and there is this neverending nagging that "oh, and I saw X today, and her daughter just graduated from med school (or whatever), imagine how PROUD she must be... it most be wonderful feeling so PROUD for your children..."

But fortunately, I'm getting better at brushing it off with age...

*hugs*