Too much of a good thing!

[primsong]

I don't normally use this for working out thoughts, but if you don't mind a ramble for a moment... For whatever reason (and I admit, I don't entirely understand it myself) I have ended up moderating at multiple communities - now the only 'big' one (needing a fair amount of time put into it) is the fanclub, and much of that is my own doing, being extra things I do on the side of my own volition. The others are small communities that move slowly and take little care aside from the occasional intervention or management. The only other moderately active one I've been at, Gap of Rohan, I've managed to only be mod for a handful of small forums within it, such as writing, poetry and such.

But then... the Gap had one of its two admins have to step down because of other things in her life, and I get the notice - will I be an admin? Argh!!! I love this site, and the people there. It has been a peaceful and fun refuge for me many a time, and I know I could work with the owner/admin very well. It's even a Christian Tolkien forum, something that I treasure... But one more site?

I sat and pulled at my hair for about an hour, then finally let him know that I just don't have the time to be able to care for it as it deserves to be cared for. I ended up offering to be a sort of 'spare tire' admin, who can come in and help when hollered for by email but will most likely not find the problems and fix them all by myself. If I only had more time, sigh... I am at peace with that. I don't know if he'll want that, or decide to go hunting for someone who can be a full-timer, so to speak.

I am reminded of the Brobdingnagian Bards' song, If I Had a Million Ducats - if I had a million hours, all the things I would love to do.

Then I finished writing a chapter of my tale that is getting quite difficult to write as I wind down to the end of it, feeling as if I had just had to wrestle a much larger decision than all that.

Comments

[lin4gondor.livejournal.com]

It was a hard decision for you -- though it took only an hour to come to it -- because it was something you could have easily said yes to, and that you regret not being able to do so. But I was thankful to see that you had seen that it was not right for you at this time.

I have been there, and done that, and even had to say no, sometimes -- though I usually say yes, and then find it is too much for me. I am the kind of person who has a very hard time saying no to something when I am asked to take it on -- especially when I know I can do it, that I would ENJOY doing it, or when it might be a position hard to fill if I do NOT do it. But there is a time for saying no to things, no matter how good the opportunity or how worthy the ministry, or how hard it will be for them to find someone else. Taking on too much spreads you too thin, and then you can't give fully to the things you are already invested in.

I trust that good things will come of this decision that will comfort you now as you still feel the regret of having to say no.