Too much of a good thing!

[primsong]

I don't normally use this for working out thoughts, but if you don't mind a ramble for a moment... For whatever reason (and I admit, I don't entirely understand it myself) I have ended up moderating at multiple communities - now the only 'big' one (needing a fair amount of time put into it) is the fanclub, and much of that is my own doing, being extra things I do on the side of my own volition. The others are small communities that move slowly and take little care aside from the occasional intervention or management. The only other moderately active one I've been at, Gap of Rohan, I've managed to only be mod for a handful of small forums within it, such as writing, poetry and such.

But then... the Gap had one of its two admins have to step down because of other things in her life, and I get the notice - will I be an admin? Argh!!! I love this site, and the people there. It has been a peaceful and fun refuge for me many a time, and I know I could work with the owner/admin very well. It's even a Christian Tolkien forum, something that I treasure... But one more site?

I sat and pulled at my hair for about an hour, then finally let him know that I just don't have the time to be able to care for it as it deserves to be cared for. I ended up offering to be a sort of 'spare tire' admin, who can come in and help when hollered for by email but will most likely not find the problems and fix them all by myself. If I only had more time, sigh... I am at peace with that. I don't know if he'll want that, or decide to go hunting for someone who can be a full-timer, so to speak.

I am reminded of the Brobdingnagian Bards' song, If I Had a Million Ducats - if I had a million hours, all the things I would love to do.

Then I finished writing a chapter of my tale that is getting quite difficult to write as I wind down to the end of it, feeling as if I had just had to wrestle a much larger decision than all that.

Comments

[the-tinidril.livejournal.com]

I've been in that position, too, not with moderating message boards, but in other things. I love to volunteer, to help out, but there comes a point at which you have to come to terms with your limits lest you become unable to do anything well.

[solodancer.livejournal.com]

I'm a volunteer-a-holic. One time in Aaron's Sunday School class, the teacher was using different people in the church that the children knew as examples of how people can use their talents for God. (at the time I was directing or had just got done directing the Children's Christmas play, so they all knew me) He used the pastor as an example and he used me. When he asked the children in the class why I helped with the plays and things (The answer was supposed to be something about how I do it to serve God or because I love God or some such) Aaron answers..."becuase she doesn't know how to say no".

::face palm::

Out of the mouths of babes! It floored me that even at that young age (he was about 8 at the time) he was aware that I was doin too much. Believe it or not, it was that comment that prompted me to step back from things a bit.

Another strange thing has happened. Over the past couple of years I've been more involved in going to LOTR events and trying to meet up with ringer friends in the Chicago area. Subsequently, I have said no to more things at church and you know what? I don't think anyone misses me.

I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything like that. I mean, people miss "me" but they don't miss my business. The business of the church has gone on quite well in my absence. I think I kind of had this puffed up feeling that if I didn't do it, who would, you know? And what I found out is, there will always be people to do the things that need to be done.

Now, having said all that, the drama group has not been picked up by someone else. No one has taken up the reigns and so it's just sort of gone away because I'm not doing it. But, no one in the church seems to mind that it's gone, so I guess maybe it wasn't that welcome when it was there. ::shrugs::

I heard a saying once..."if the Devil can't get you to do nothing...he'll get you to do too much"

I was livin proof of that.

We had a pastor once who only allowed his wife to be a part of two ministries at the church. He knew the tendancy especcially for a pastors wife to be involved in every committee and club. He said she had to choose two to be invovled with and then be involved with those fully, but no more. I think that was wise counsel.

Maybe you could do something like that for yourself Prim. Make a decision to only be a mod at 2 forums. Choose the two that you enjoy the most and let the others go, no matter how small. Then you can devote your time and energy fully to those two.

Just a thought.

[primsong.livejournal.com]

You got it - I've gotten better at saying 'no' to many things at the school and the church, but this is a new arena I need to find a balance in, I guess.

[boriel.livejournal.com]

i cant say that i have been in your shoes, because i havent, but my mom has many times, and so that I do understand. Yes if we had much more time in the day to do what we wished, rather than what we had to...life wouldnt move so fast i think.

Hello

[faramirgirl.livejournal.com]

I think that you are an amazing person doing all that you do. Being a mother of small children is a job in itself. You have so much of your plate i will not be suprise if you are pulling your hair out.

Re: Hello

[primsong.livejournal.com]

Well, the kids are getting bigger now, and more able to care for their own daily needs, thank goodness - when they were very small I had no life at all outside of caring for them, or at least it felt like it. I have great sympathy for the frustrations that women trying to care for a passel of small children feel if they have other interests that are not 'mommy-friendly.' (like writing!)

I've taken it on as the emergency backup admin, being completely candid with them about my lack of time so there shouldn't be any trouble. I'm going to help him try to find a full-timer.

[maidoforange.livejournal.com]

(((Prim))). I am amazed you find the time to do all that you do.

[lin4gondor.livejournal.com]

It was a hard decision for you -- though it took only an hour to come to it -- because it was something you could have easily said yes to, and that you regret not being able to do so. But I was thankful to see that you had seen that it was not right for you at this time.

I have been there, and done that, and even had to say no, sometimes -- though I usually say yes, and then find it is too much for me. I am the kind of person who has a very hard time saying no to something when I am asked to take it on -- especially when I know I can do it, that I would ENJOY doing it, or when it might be a position hard to fill if I do NOT do it. But there is a time for saying no to things, no matter how good the opportunity or how worthy the ministry, or how hard it will be for them to find someone else. Taking on too much spreads you too thin, and then you can't give fully to the things you are already invested in.

I trust that good things will come of this decision that will comfort you now as you still feel the regret of having to say no.

[lothithil.livejournal.com]

(((Prim))) You must be getting that feeling that Bilbo described, "butter over too much bread"! Don't scrape yourself too thin, or you won't be able to enjoy what you do... I certainly enjoy what you do, and I thank you for it!