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primsongFirst of all, here's my fifteen:
- Bilbo Baggins
- Percy Blakeney (the Scarlet Pimpernel)
- Fiver (a rabbit Watership Down)
- Mrs. Pollifax (from the Mrs. Pollifax series by Dorothy Gilman)
- The Third Doctor
- Ramona Quimby (of the Ramona and Beezus books by Beverly Cleary)
- Horatio Hornblower
- Maxwell Smart (Get Smart)
- Jo Grant
- Keehar (a seagull from Watership Down)
- Siegfried Farnon (All Creatures Great and Small)
- Molly Astor (Peter and the Starcatchers)
- Jamie MacCrimmon
- Delgado!Master
- Little John (of Robin Hood fame)
And now....
Fiver, The Third Doctor and Horatio Hornblower go to Maxwell Smart’s birthday party.
Whilst nibbling carrot cake, Fiver senses Max’s enemies, agents from KAOS, are disguising themselves as standing lamps in the living room. Three telepathically connects with him and passes the warning to Max and Hornblower.
“Ah-ha, the old spies under the lampshades trick,” Max notes.
“Has there been any notice of treaties struck between you and KAOS?” Hornblower wonders. “If not, we might be able to capture their ship!”
“They have ships?” Max says with surprise. “I wonder how they got them up the stairwell?”
“I’m the one with a ship,” the Doctor corrects somewhat testily as Fiver stamps his foot in impatience. “And it’s not open for capture.”
They would all rapidly overwhelm the hapless enemy agents, and Hornblower would arrest them in the name of the Queen while Three gave them a stern lecture. Max would take all the credit for discovering it, but be allowed to because it WAS his birthday after all.
Bilbo, Little John and Siegfried are in 2nd grade together.
The recess bell for all the second-graders has rung, but Bilbo simply will not leave the snacks table to go outside. Not that anyone really notices, they so often seem to see right through him.
Little John cuts in line and shoves the others out of the way to get to the playground first, despite much protest on the part of his classmates. He’s forever knocking them into puddles or running with sticks… Seigfried protests that it’s obviously against the rules to run, and to play with sticks and everyone, especially Little John, should listen to him because it’s the RULES! He then decides that he’s riding an imaginary racehorse and charges past Little John, waving a stick for a riding crop, smacking Little John as he passes. Both of them start in on some minor fisticuffs and when the teacher pulls them apart, they blame Bilbo – even though he’s nowhere to be seen.
Mrs. Pollifax kisses Percy. How is it received?
Mrs. Pollifax has apparently and not unexpectedly joined up with the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel, which would suit her to a tee. She and Percy are no doubt undercover in an elaborate espionage assignment in Paris, and it was expected that she would kiss him as the signal to the rest of the League (also in disguise nearby) to incite the crowds in the streets, completely confusing the guards and allowing them to spirit away an entire family of aristocratic lineage, including the young children hidden under Mrs. Pollifax’s skirt. Chauvelin attempts to stop them, but Mrs. Pollifax judo-chops him down. “La!” Percy notes as they dash towards their scheduled rendevous, “Dashed fine work, that!”
...Delgado!Master and Jo Grant are competing in a three-legged race, but Ramona keeps trying dirty tricks to stop them. Do they win anyway, and what happens?
“Come on, keep going!” Jo urged. “You can’t let some little kids beat you.”
“I am well aware of their size and youth,” the Master growled, hobbling along beside her. “But haven’t you observed…”
“One! Two! One! Two! Come on already!”
“…that….the rather….unruly child just ahead….of us….” The Master stumbled on a molehill and collided with Jo’s hip.
“Ow! You have no rhythm…” she complained as they struggled to find their pace again. “I’d hate to see…”
“…that child with the cur…”
“…how you dance,” Jo carried on, panting. “Two…left feet…”
The Master tried to correct the desired trajectory based on Jo’s leg being shorter than his own. They were dangerously close to heading into the lemonade table instead. He dragged Jo forcibly to the left.
“Ribsy, FETCH!” shrieked the brown-haired girl in question, throwing a tennis-ball that bounced in front of them. A gangly, spotted dog galloped immediately after it, yiping in surprise as Jo tried to jump over it and the Master tried to kick it, neither of them successfully. There was a confused, bruising tumble to the ground.
“Hey!” Jo protested. “That was cheating!”
The Master scowled, pulling her bodily up and setting them on their way again. They were gaining well, other children falling (some literally) behind. Ramona ran ahead of them, the stuffed rabbit she had tied to one of her legs as a partner flapping as she went. She crossed the finish line; they were right behind her.
“I WON!” Ramona screamed, jumping up and down in a victory dance.
“Madame,” the Master said, ignoring the child and turning to the small crowd of mothers and teachers supervising the school carnival’s events. “Arrest and execute this child.”
“Never mind him,” Jo said quickly. “But she did try to trip us.”
Ramona was shortly dragged off screaming in protest as an embarrassed teacher awarded the ‘second place’ team with choosing a consolation prize from the previously locked “treasure box” of trinkets. It was far more coveted than they could ever guess.
“The TARDIS key,” the Master said with satisfaction, pulling it from the prizes box at last and settling it on its bright ribbon around his neck. He reached down to untie his leg from Jo’s, only to have an all-to-familiar ruffle-cuffed hand intercede, firmly holding him in his bent over position.
“Here, do let me lend you a hand with that,” the Doctor grinned, slipping the key back off as the curious dog came up and panted hot dog-breath in the Master’s face. “After all, we wouldn’t want you to be leaving before the hula-hoop contest.”
“The what?”
“Didn’t I tell you? Your dematerialisation circuit is the prize for that one.”
---
Bilbo and Keehar are going on a trip. Where, who drives, who navigates and which of the other characters do they call on when they crash the car?
The car careens wildly and erratically down the road as the bewildered hobbit attempts to steer this mad Big Person machine, a seagull screaming in panic and bouncing around inside the compartment with him not making it much easier, as well as the apparent lack of brakes.
The road (in spite of it presumably going ever on and on) doesn’t seem to go very far at all before it abruptly ends at the Party Tree in a magnificent shrieking of metal and an explosion of gull feathers. Thankfully it wasn’t long before Seigfried came to tsk-tsk over what remained of his poorly-maintained car, and Little John’s towing service did the rest.
Molly and Jamie fall madly in love but their marriage is forbidden by Mrs. Pollifax. They elope to Gretna Green, but why is Maxwell Smart pursuing them?
Mrs. Pollifax is assigned the job of observing Molly and her family under the guise of being a governess for her, seeing as there have been several strange events associated with her and her father in particular. Taking her assigned role seriously, she is very disapproving when Molly becomes enamoured with a young Scotsman who appears out of nowhere. The girl is surely too young and inexperienced to even think of such a thing!
Two and Jamie have arrived in the area to investigate the same odd events, and while Two sets out to infiltrate the government and police authorities to find out where the moles are, Jamie is set to keep an eye on Molly. Instead of merely keeping an eye on her, Jamie falls madly in love with the lovely, spirited girl and they decide to elope. Eluding Mrs. Pollifax (sleeping outside Molly’s bedroom door) by the judicious use of a speck of starstuff, Molly and Jamie fly off towards Gretna Green for a proper Scot-style elopement.
The young lovers are also pursued by Maxwell Smart because he’s been investigating Mrs. Pollifax, being one step behind the others on what was quite going on, and he’s decided Molly is the one who obviously knows something this apparently innocent grandmotherly person who he’s sure is some kind of spy. He must keep Mrs. Pollifax employed as a governess, and suspects letting the child in her care be abruptly married to an otherwise unknown Scot would be serious problem in that scenario.
It takes a long night of driving and harrowing near misses but Max managed to arrive at Gretna Green by morning where he installs himself at the old blacksmith’s shop that they intend to use for their wedding chapel and makes a shambles of their attempts to wed, a delay that allows Two and Mrs. Pollifax to catch up, each of them taking their respective young charges away to talk sense back into them.
...
Derekmetaltron suggests:
Ramona, Keehar and Molly are all granted super powers by Bilbo. What powers do they get and what would the name of their Super Hero Team be?
Bilbo grants them all amazing cooking abilities they start their own catering team (The Catering Crusaders) including Special Air Delivery of occasional small cakes when Keehar is so inclined.
If Fiver and Horatio Hornblower get a job together, what job would it be and what sort of antics would happen at the workplace?
Hornblower only working on ships, Fiver’s antics would be short-lived indeed – very likely summed up with a good rabbit chase about the decks followed by Rabbit Pye for the Captain, a fine upgrade from rat.
Little John discovers a crashed TARDIS they can pilot for one trip there and back and lets Percy, Jo and the Master come with them as companions. Where do they go and what sort of dangers would they face?
Ah, but why was there a crashed TARDIS there in the first place? I expect Three and Jo came to visit Sherwood because they’d discovered the Master had kidnapped Percy Blakeney from the time of the French Revolution, thereby potentially changing history by dooming several innocent members of aristocracy to the guillotine. On his way to visit his friend Prince John, the Master has a malfunction and Percy escapes into the woods where he meets up with and befriends Robin Hood and his band (they get along famously, of course).. As they are sharing a pot of ale and a leg of venison from the King’s deer, they welcome Robin’s old friend the Doctor, accompanied by the fair maid Josephine shortly thereafter. The Doctor, for some reason relating to the fact he himself was already at the French Revolution as One and cannot go back to the required time himself, needs to get the Master to return Percy to his home.
Percy reports that the Master’s TARDIS was looking like a tree. With so many trees in the forest, they split up into two search parties to find it. Robin, Will Scarlet and Three go off one way. Little John heads up the other party with Percy and Jo. (Both Little John and Percy have sworn to protect her with their lives, but she’s plenty capable herself thank-you-very-much).
Little John discovers the tree-like crashed TARDIS by accident and they go in only to find the Master already in there, working on his console. The Master, realizing what Jo’s presence means, grabs her with intent to use her to manipulate the Doctor into helping him fix his TARDIS. Little John, knowing a rascal when he sees one, quickly bops him with his quarterstaff, then Percy holds him at swordpoint while Jo talks the Master’s ear off about how awful it was of him to take Percy away from his work like that.
Protesting that he can only make one trip, and that with an automatic return to the point it left from as a built-in security feature, the Master finally, reluctantly, takes them back to Paris where Percy is safely dropped off. They return to Sherwood, only to be met by the Doctor and Robin, who say many clever and witty things about Little John’s cleverness and the Master’s ego. The Doctor, seeing no practical way to hold the Master in detention in this time, gives the Master the minimum help needed to get him on his way with a promise that he’ll leave Sherwood and the French Revolution alone after this, though neither of them believe him when he says he will.
