Friendship and caretaking...

[primsong]

I'm off this morning to do something difficult - In a nutshell, I have a longtime friend who developed something like chronic fatigue about three years ago. She'd never been strong, and a round of mono seems to have knocked her system down. She lost her job and subsisted on her savings until they were gone... she has no family but one uncle and very few friends and now we've ended up gradually supporting her in order to keep her under a roof and with food. But there reached a point that I realized our friendship was dead - I had become her caretaker, her keeper...our relationship was stressed until I wanted nothing to do with her as it became a greater and greater monetary strain and her needs became all that we ever talked about, again and again.

I cried out to the Lord, what was I to do? I couldn't just let her starve, but I couldn't take her into my own home either. I felt I was being taken advantage of on one hand while feeling that she had no other resources on the other. He told me all He asked of me was that I be her "friend." Not her caretaker, not her mother, not her keeper, nanny or nurse. Just her friend.

I told her we wouldn't be supporting her like this anymore, that it was killing our friendship and I only wanted to be a good friend. I got her started with a community foodbank for monthly groceries, with a bus program that gives transport to the poor and handicapped. I gave her boxes and tape to pack her belongings. We don't know where she's going, but we can't keep paying for her 2-bdroom apartment. She's packing. And today is one of the hardest things... today I go to take her two cats to a no-kill shelter.

They are the only "family" she has with her. She dotes on them. But she hasn't the energy to care for them and I can't pay her vet and food bills and also clean up her apartment after them. Not anymore. She is mourning, but resigned. It is bitter medicine, but I think it is good. It feels right, in spite of the pain of it. And no, I am *not* going to allow her to cast me as the Bad Guy either - I'm preparing to talk with her today about it, so she understands up front we are not being mean in "taking her cats away" - we have actually given and given until our hearts broke because we love her, as a person. And we will once again be friends soon, I hope.

Aiya... I could sure use a dose of cheerfulness today.

If you see this post, post me a cheerful note, a joke or a bright thought please. Thanks...

Comments

[primsong.livejournal.com]

I love lightbulb jokes! Hee!

I always liked the "How many evolutionists does it take to change a lightbulb?"....

"None. They figure if they wait long enough, the lightbulb will change itself."

:-D