A bit of a shock -

[primsong]

Just found out that my father was watching a polo game on Sunday and had a heart-attack.... it wasn't his first... he's gone.... He has not been a daily presence in my life since I was a kid, but we always wrote, emailed and exchanged gifts as distant friends might - my brother and I are making what arrangements we can now to find out what is happening with his dog, his store, his friends. Police tracked info to my ex-step-mom, who gave them my info as next of kin. Not much mourning yet, just trying to deal with all the details.

Looks like tomorrow I may have my second shot at being a witness in court, then may be going to Maui to help my brother tend to my father's estate - both of us are somewhat clueless. What a spring! I am just so thankful that we managed to get over to Maui to visit him this past September, that he had a chance to meet his grandchildren and they met him before he was gone.

Anyone with advice on how to deal with an estate when it was someone who you hardly knew the private life of living far away from you, do pipe up.

Comments

[eldritchhobbit.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear this! I don't have a clue about the estate thing, I'm afraid. I'm sending very best wishes to you through this time. You're in my thoughts. Take care.

[maidoforange.livejournal.com]

Oh, ((((((Prim)))))). I'm so sorry. No matter the relationship, it has to be hard and is certainly a shock.

[lin4gondor.livejournal.com]

My poor dear! You will be in my prayers, for all you are experiencing now and all that you will experience after the full force of the loss and the responsibility hit you. I am thankful you have your brother to help you!

(((Prim)))

[lyria-theringer.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you and your family can come to terms with this peacefully. Once the shock wears of, and the business aspect is resolved, you will have your time to grieve.

I wish that I could be more helpful to you. Unfortunately, I do not know anything about dealing with an estate.

[lothithil.livejournal.com]

(((Prim)))
My most sincere sympathies for you at this time of loss.

[true-gaudior.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I can't begin to understand or appreciate the feelings you have now. I hope you feel God's presence and grace as you deal with the situation.

[elessar852.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness (((((((the Prim))))))) I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. :( *hugs*

[samarra.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss, honey. *hugs*

[bonnie-halfelvn.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I don't know much about dealing with estates. I guess the first thing would be to get a lawyer and find out if he had a will.

You will be in my prayers.

[siradaono.livejournal.com]

all I got is

Prayers.

[meneleth.livejournal.com]

Wow, Prim, that's pretty heavy. My condolences on your loss, even if you weren't really close.

My only advice is to be sure that everything you do is well documented and that you and your brother each have full copies of all documents.

Safe trip, hon.

[mousechief.livejournal.com]

(((((((((((((Prim and brother))))))))))))))))))
I don't know anything about estates, but you'll have my prayers.

[tuilelindowen.livejournal.com]

My brother and I handled my mother's estate but she was local, and she had been on life support for nine years, so we had everything pretty well handled before she passed on. Everything just fell into place, but there are always odds and ends that come up.

Whether there was a will or not and who is the executor will be the first thing to determine, and long distance probate (State of Hawaii) necessitating a local lawyer there to correspond with and to guide you through the process.

I used to work as a probate secretary for a well known probate attorney, and my job was to work with out of towners a lot. I did everything from count pennies (millions of them stored in every nook and cranny in a deceased client's house), tracked down records of deceased husbands from WWI (yes, WWI, not WWII), found relatives for a millionaress in Ireland who were very poor and had no idea they had a rich relative. I upset the applecart once when I discovered that the inheritor in one codicil had notarized the codicil using her notary stamp in her maiden name (the codicil got thrown out as a result by the court -- in Hawaii). Did all the court accountings.

So it all depends what kind of estate your dad left and what the Will situation is. Good luck!

Dad

[the-faithwalker.livejournal.com]

Hey Dearheart,

As for the estate, listen to the attourney. He has the ear of the legal system for the state and they are not concerned about emotions, only what the Law says.
Concerning your Dad: Listen to the people who knew him. Through their stories you will learn about a side of your Dad that you did not know. My Dad and I were never close......yet it was through the stories and experiences of those he associated with daily, that I discovered how similar we were. I don't know your Dad's Spiritual condition but assuming he was/is a beleiver then the loss is only temporary and when you meet again he will be completely different because he will have been transformed into perfection and you will have the rest of eternity to be together. As for the mourning, it will come in earnst about 3 weeks after the funeral. Just be prepared to set a week aside for yourself. No kids, no husband, just you and the Lord. Speaking from experience here, both first hand and as a Pastor.
Pob Bendith
( ancient Gaelic for, "Every Blessing To You"
jeff

[iorhael94.livejournal.com]

Prim...somehow I missed this post before...I hear you on learning about estates and things...my brother and I have been learning about Powers of Attorneys ande such these past few months regarding my Mom...also a very private person. I wish you both the best and will pray for you both. I am glad he was able to meet his grandchildren last fall....I know I am thankful I made that visit back east last fall before Mom had her accident. And I know there are bound to be some mixed emotions too for a father you didn't know that well...that's how I was with my Dad until a few years ago....Hugs and prayers to you! And hugs on the witness thing too :(

[fakoriginal.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your dad, even if you weren't that close. I suspect you'll be finding out lots of things over the coming months as you deal with the estate and hope that they are all positive for you, though I can guess it is going to be rather surreal.